The Aftermess
by Talhiri
Summary: Set after Kirkwall falls, Hawke and her friends leave the city to escape and start over. Will contain more explict content in later chapters.
1. Prologue

Prologue

_Walking over to Bethany's side, Hawke looked at her sister questioningly, "Are you ready for this Beth?" She offered her hand out and pulled her sister upright as she struggled to come to terms with everything that had happened in the decade since they had arrived in Kirkwall._

"_I'm ready, Marian." Bethany shrugged and smiled at her sister's face; "your face is all screwed up again. Relax I'll be fine, I've learned a lot since I joined the Wardens and I'm not a little child anymore. And I don't need you to protect me like I'm a child."_

_Hawke groaned and placed a hand over her heart. "You wound me Bethany," she exaggerated and laughed lightly for a moment and then scowled. "and I could never hide much from you anyways." She groused and shook her head. "It's just that so much has happened and," she paused for the briefest moment, "it feels strange for you to be fight like this, not-"_

_Bethany nodded and placed her hand on Hawke's armored shoulder, "but that's the way it is and I've learned a lot since you last saw me fight. Don't worry, I don't need protection anymore."_

_Hawke bit her lip anxiously for a second as Fenris walked up to them. "As soon as you're ready, we'll begin." He glanced at Bethany struggling for a minute before he nodded tightly to her. "It is good to have you on our side."_

_Bethany watched as Marian's eyes widened slightly and her mouth opened in shock or was it surprise? Bethany laughed, "we have Marian on our side; don't worry, Fenris, my sister plans to make sure she lives through this just so she can tell me I told you so." She arched an eyebrow at her sister who began to protest._

"_Hey-!" Marian replied indignantly, "that's not the reason I'm fighting, or supporting the-" Fenris chuckled lightly as he smiled at her and overrode her protests. "I know why we are fighting, and even if I do not agree with you; I know that you are making the right choice." Taking her hand he looked into bright blue eyes. "you taught me that not every mage is willing to resort to demons."_

_As he stepped away from the two sisters he leaned in and brushed Hawke's face with his lips, "I am yours." He whispered in Hawke's ear as she smiled dreamily brushing his face with her gloved hand softly._

_Bethany smiled at her sister who stared at the elf walk away, a faraway look in her eyes for a minute and snorted as Marian gave her a withered look. "You're in love," Bethany accused as Marian blinked slowly and nodded._

_Glaring for minute, she crossed her arms as she huffed at Bethany and sighed; "yes, yes, I am, happy?" She smiled lightly for a minute and then pointed to the scar across her face. "Do you remember what I said to you when my face was scarred?" She asked, the red scar across her face seemingly staring Bethany in the face._

"_I do," Bethany replied softly all traces of amusement gone from her voice, wondering why on earth Marian had brought this up now after so many years. Hawke grinned cheekily and leaned in to whisper in Bethany's ear. "After this is all over, I promise I will let you protect me and I will stay back where it's safe and not fight…much." She clapped her on the shoulder and walked away leaving Bethany to stare after her in confusion. _

"_Let's go everyone." Hawke yelled as she unclasped her weapon, "we have a big battle to kick in the gut and a city to save…again!" She rolled her eyes as she fiddled with her helmet for a minute before taking a deep breathe. "I can do this." Marian said out loud to herself, as she squared her shoulders and looked up grimly, battle plans already whirling around in her head._

_Bethany watched as her sister ordered her friends in how she wanted them to proceed. As the first of many Templars started to rush towards them Hawke flashed her a cheeky grin and pulled her helmet down over her face. Rushing forward Hawke buried herself into battle and then there was no more time to think as Bethany unleashed a massive fireball into the air._

_The battle was upon them._


	2. Chapter 1

Aftermess - Chapter 1

Boots pounded the ground as Hawke moaned. She last remembered watching Meredith burn and walking away as her friends closed in around her. They had left the courtyard and her been staying on the steps when her vision had gone black and suddenly herself tumbling down the long flights of stairs.

"Don't let her move!" the words were hissed as someone dragged her arm higher onto their shoulder. "You try telling some who's barely conscious not to move." The words snapped back as she was jolted again.

"Hurts…" Hawke mumbled as cool hands touched her face and warm brown eyes stared at her through a field of blackness and pain as she struggled to open her eyes. "Marian listen to me, you have to stay still, I know it hurts but trust me. Just stay still." Trying focus, Hawke blinked, one eye not opening as a wet cloth blotted her face gently, removing some of the dried blood and grime. She gasped in agony as the water touched bare muscle underneath and tried to jerk back as someone's arm held her firmly in place.

A crying noise fell softly in the air as the pain assaulted her senses. She wanted to stand on her, to go see who was crying, maybe someone was hurt… Marian moaned as soothing words were whispered in her ear but she could barely hear let alone understand them as she was half carried half dragged over to an archway.

The door of the Hawke Estate stood ajar and the pool of blood near the door didn't encourage any hope that the estate had escaped the chaos of the Circle-Templar civil war. Aveline leaned around the corner and spoke quietly; "Varric and Fenris will search the kitchen and library, Isabela and I will take the upper stairs." She glanced at her husband, "stay with the girls and protect them."

Bethany's eyes flickered slightly, "we're not helpless Aveline. We can fight." She was tired and still had her arm around Marian's waist but she wasn't about to give up without a fight. For just an instant she wondered if that had been how Carver had felt when Marian had taken control of the family instead of him.

Aveline shook her head bluntly, "you can't fight and protect your sister at the same time Bethany. Keep her safe while we keep you safe. You and Merrill are her only chance now."

Bethany's eyes narrowed for a minute before she sighed and nodded in mute agreement as Hawke mumbled something incoherent, the pain evident on her face. Aveline watched as Bethany looked down at sister and tried to talk to her again, to no avail though Aveline was relieved that she was still giving it her best shot.

There was nothing Aveline could do for her friend at the moment, Hawke was riddled with battle wounds and delirious, all but dead on her feet. Had they not been there in the Gallows, Marian Hawke might have never made it out alive. Keeping that thought and the shudder that trailed downer her spine to herself, Aveline took one last look at Hawke before turning towards the door.

Raiders! Someone shouted out as the battle-hardened fighters took to killing the simple raiders with years of practiced ease.

A shadow dashed across the staircase as Varric let loose a volley of arrows, felling several while Isabela's dagger brought the last two hidden by Leandra's room down. Fenris was already in the kitchen as Varric covered his back. A short gurgle later and Fenris reappeared his face splattered with blood as he raised an eyebrow at the dwarf. "Twenty-eight." He proclaimed dangerously as Varric glared at him, his finger caressing Bianca's firing ring with a twitch. "Twenty-nine." Varric replied calmly as he shot a raider who had just about sneaked up on the elf.

Fenris blinked and shrugged, "a drink later then. After Hawke is healed."

"Aye, and not just one drink." Varric replied grimly as they left and headed up the stairs towards Hawke's room.

A short but angry exchange followed as Aveline, Fenris, Varric and Isabela rushed into the estate. It was several long intense moments as Bethany and Merrill stood outside with Donnic as Hawke stirred slightly, murmuring every now and then as the sounds echoed outside. Bethany tried to reassure her sister but it was to no avail, Marian was truly lost in her fevered world.

Hawke was still trying to make her fevered mind work even as the noises of concern echoed just near her ear. She could just barely see the Hawke emblem on the shield. "…my estate…" Hawke muttered as her eye opened wide in horror. _All the fighting had made her forget about the estate, about Orana, Bodahnen, Sandal… _Bethany smoothed back sweat drenched hair from Marian's eyes as she struggled again. A green glow flowed from her hands and finally Hawke lay still, paralyzed under her spell.

"Hurry up!" Aveline hissed as Isabela fiddled with the lock on Marian's door. "Don't rush me, you cow." Isabela complained as she fiddled with the lock, and her hands trembling only slightly, though Isabela refused to admit she was scared ...almost as much as she had been when she returned during the Qunari invasion. "She finally takes my advice at the worse time." She exclaimed as she broke another set of lock picks on the new extremely challenging lock Hawke had installed in the door leading to her bedroom.

Aveline only half listened as Isabela muttered to herself in some unknown language as she picked away determinedly at the lock. Five more minutes and suddenly Isabela crowed in delight. "Gotcha you little bitch!" Turning around Aveline rolled her shoulders to loosen them as she kicked the door down. Sweeping into the room carefully Isabela disarmed a single trap on the floor as Aveline dealt with the one lone raider looting through the wardrobe.

Merrill looked at Hawke with tears in her eyes, "she'll be fine. She promised she would." Turning to Bethany, Merrill's lip trembled slightly, "I... I don't know much of healing. We could use blood magic, do you think she'll be mad? Or we could always find the herbs she keeps here and…"

Bethany nodded weakly as Merrill trailed off, "neither do I...it's going to be ugly but she just needs to live. Scars are a minor price to pay for my sister's life. She laughed bitterly at the irony, _a few scars, or the taint and grey wardens..._

"Clear." The shout echoed down into the hallway and Donic moved forward. "Take Serah Hawke, I'll cover your backs. And then it was over as they entered the estate.

Rushing Hawke upstairs to her bedroom, Isabela took Hawke from the two mages as she and Aveline carried her to the large four-poster bed. Lying her on the bed, they quickly stripped the Champion's armor off, discarding it carelessly.

Varric and Fenris had returned and their arms were loaded with potions and herbs from the cellars that Marian had always stocked in what everyone had use to call overly obsessive. No one was complaining now as Merrill and Bethany downed a few potions, brimming with power they began to glow as the magic crawled over their skin.


	3. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2: Flashback_

_Bethany sits in the back of the wagon propped up on pillows as she sighs and looks at Marian sleeping on the bed beside her. She cringes as Marian mutters something before rolling over to her side._

_Touching her shoulder briefly, Bethany whispers to sister. "I'm so sorry Marian…" She could not believe how their fifteenth nameday had turned out after all._

_When Carver and Bethany had woken up that morning Marian had surprised them with three sovereigns for their nameday present. Carver being the git that he was had decided that he was a man and that he was going to the Tavern. Bethany on the other hand had wanted a new dress to wear. Bethany smiled at the memory, as much as Marian refused to admit, she did love finding and wearing the dresses._

_Her mother had once remarked that no matter how much Marian would fight and protest, beneath the armor and sword was a woman who loved to be girlish when the mood took her._

_Carver peeked into the wagon sheepishly and froze when he saw Bethany was awake. "Uhhh…I'm sorry, Beth." He stuttered for a minute as he searched for the words to say. "but it wasn't my fault and I'm glad you're all right. They were goading me and I did know how to find…"_

"_Carver, don't." Bethany loved her twin but at the moment she couldn't find anything to say to him. It had been Carver's fault they were running this time and all because of his foolish pride._

"_But Beth, I really wouldn't…" Carver sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and fiddled with the blanket. The heartbroken look he had on his face was almost enough to make Bethany say something nice but she couldn't say anything._

_A grunt interrupted their conversation as Marian rolled over and blinked clouded eyes at the twins. She was silent for a minute, still waking up from the deep healing coma their father had casted upon her when Carver had brought them back to the camp._

_Eyes glinted as she took in carver who had suddenly paled. "Get out of here." Marian spoke quietly as the young boy scampered out of the wagon. Groaning Marian rolled onto her back as her mother entered the wagon._

"_Marian?" Her mother asked quietly as she closed her eyes and ignored everything else._

_Several hours later…_

_Their parents had asked what had happened but Bethany had been in tears and Carver wasn't ready to talk. Bethany remembered the glance between their mother and father. Mother had taken the twins in each arm and guided them back to the wagon while their father had gently picked Marian up and placed her in the bed._

_He'd motioned Bethany over and started to show her the healing magic he was using on Marian and then how to place her sister into the healing coma. "For the benefit of us all so that she doesn't hurt herself more when she wakes up and tries to climb out of bed and starts swearing up a storm." He had winked at her and Bethany had burst out giggling because that's exactly what Marian would do._

"_There will be a scar left behind." Her father had told her solemnly as he wrapped the bandage around Marian's burned nose. "I can't remove it but at least it will heal cleanly and her nose won't be broken."_

"_How did this happen?" He had asked quietly as Bethany looked over to where her mother was cleaning Carver's scrapes much to his protests as well, a few slurred words making her exclaim in anger._

"_I don't know." She bit her lip as her father watched her silently for a minute and chuckled dryly. "Bethany, you are a terrible liar. You should ask Marian to teach you." His eyes danced for a minute and he shook his head as he laughed harder, "but don't you go and tell your mother I said that."_

_Bethany nodded shyly and then tearfully told her father everything; how Carver had mouthed off to the Templars and in a drunken fit told them he knew where and how to take down a mage. Marian and Bethany had been dress shopping and upon hearing their brother's angry voice in the townsquare, Marian had left to secure Carver, and Bethany worried over how Carver would react had trailed alone, the scarf that she'd just bought still in her hand._

_Everything had escalated from there with Carver allowing himself to be goaded by the Templars. During the fight Carver had gotten himself knocked down promptly half from the glancing blow and half from the drinking._

_Marian on the other hand after incapacitating several of the Templars and wounding their pride severely just walked away from the fight, and was attempting to get Carver back on his feet who in turn was fighting her drunkenly with little success._

_A shout had Marian looking back to the Templars as a man she seemingly knew grabbed her sister, yelling that he knew her dark secret and he was going to set Marian free from her 'terrible burden.' Bethany hadn't realized what he was talking about until the Templar had his arms around her as he raised his dagger to stab her. The world stood still for a minute as her sister screamed something back and threw herself forward._

_Bethany closed her eyes as she raised a trembling hand and for the first time ever in her life used her magic to fire a spell at another living person. A small but powerful fireball flew towards the Templar as Marian crashed into them throwing them to the ground in a heap._

_The result had been Marian sliding underneath the dagger just as the fireball connected with the Templar's runes and a very loud bang and shockwave echoing in the square, knocking everyone back several feet._

_The noise had sobered up Carver somewhat and he had managed to help Bethany pull Marian up as the three of them staggered away, Bethany the only clear-headed among them, though Marian had continuously protested she was fine, falling to her feet every so often._

_Her father nodded curiously as he rubbed his chin for a minute before laughing. "The Templar's armor and sword are enchanted to drain the mage's lyrium but at that close of a range it must be ineffective." He sat for a minute in thought, his eyes solemn and professional. "I have never ever heard of this before." He ran his hand through his hair as he mused, "perhaps I will ask an old friend to investigate this more thoroughly…" _

_He ruffled his daughter's hair as Bethany tugged his arm insistently,  
>Father…Marian's going to be okay right?" <em>

"_Not to worry, she'll be fine." He chuckled down at his distressed daughter and pulled her into his arms as he hugged her tightly. "We'll all be okay." He said again, his eyes heavy with regret._

_Later during the night Bethany woke up as she caught a glimpse of her sister leaving the wagon silently. She followed her sister outside but she was gone. "Up here," Marian looked down at her sister and reached out a hand from the wagon top. Climbing up with her sister's help, Bethany finally sat besides her sister._

"_I'm sorry," Bethany began but Marian shook her head angrily, "no, it should be Carver who is. I should've pounded him some more." she clenched the hilt of her sword tightly for a minute and fumed silently._

"_He did apologize..." Bethany offered as Marian chuckled bitterly as she sneered. _

"_But it's not my fault?" she asked mocking thierbrother briefly before she sighed. "I know he's sorry, but there's just no excuse for what happened." Running a hand through her short hair she glanced at her sister sitting dejectedly besides her. Marian grasped her sister's shoulders and made her look her in the eyes. _

"_I'm always going to protect you, Beth. Family, friends, anything and everything; I won't let you be taken away from us." She hugged her sister tightly as tears began to flow down her face. _

_For a while neither of them said anything and then Marian laughed cheekily as she took off the bandage, ignoring Bethany's squeak of a protest. "I like the scar though," Marian traced her finger across her face as she felt the tender flesh carefully. Winking at Bethany she smirked in amusement._

"_Why would you like something like that?" Bethany exclaimed as she stared at her sister in shock. "It's got character, just like me. Marian grinned smugly at her sister who rolled her eyes in exparastion._

"_Can I fight with you?" Bethany asked as Marian wrapped her arm around her shoulder. "One day, Beth." The answer was simple, something Marian reverted to when she no longer felt like joking, or Maker forbid when she was actually being serious._

_The small smile on Bethany's face was worth more to her in that minute than anything else Marian could name. She looked out into the rising sun as her sister continued on, "maybe one day I can protect you instead. " _

_Silent for a minute, Marian blinked away tears as she whispered, "one day and until then, I'll be your guardian." She ruffled Beth's hair as the girl pouted and groaned, "if it really means that much to you, one day I'll stay out of the fight and let you protect us all. "_

_Bethany nodded silently as they sat there watching the sun rise. One day I'll protect you and you won't have to fight anymore._


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hawke groaned as she began to wake up. She didn't want to leave the blessed darkness which beckoned sweetly to her as pain assaulted her mind. "Mother...? Where's Fenris... I need…" Hawke mumbled as a dark shape shifted and leaned in but her left eye refused to open as she stared through her spotted vision.

"Marian?" a voice echoed as a blue light shined above softly and she could just make out a fuzzy orb floating above …her sister's head. A hand rose before she could speak again and a cup of water was lifted to her mouth.

"Just drink," Bethany told her as Marian sipped at the water briefly; it burned down her throat as she grimaced and this time she managed to whisper louder. "What happened? Where are we...is everyone?" Bethany sighed as she placed the cup on the table stand, adjusting the pillows behind her sister.

"What did I say about not talking?" she rolled her eyes crossly, "we're on Isabela's ship, everyone is fine and you _nearly_ died after we fought with Meredith."

"Died?" Marian tried to sit up but hissed as she fell back into the pillows, though truthfully she hadn't moved very far before Bethany's hand gently, but firmly pushed her back down.

"Aye. Died as in dead as a corpse and not coming back." Bethany sniffed as she brushed back a stray strand of hair. "Fighting for the mages is one thing, but I'm not ready for you to die for them, Marian. I don't hate you…I never did." There was a sharp tone in her sister's voice but Marian was still trying to remember what had happened.

"Enlighten me…" Marian rasped as Bethany took her hand lightly in hers and stared at it, avoiding Marian's eyes as she softly massaged the calloused hand, one of the few places that did not hurt Marian.

"Meredith had me by the throat and she was draining my lifepower, all my magic… everything was just red. I was choking and all I could hear was your scream as you came crashing down from above." Bethany's voice was weak with tears as she remembered the pain, the horror as her sister grabbed Meredith's sword in one hand and her throat in the other.

"You were screaming at her, how she had pushed, how she couldn't see…you tried to tell her she was wrong, that it had to stop and she refused." Bethany drew in a shuddering breathe as Marian's hand tightened in hers.

"She managed to shove you back, and with your hold on the sword gone, she cut your face before anyone could even move… we don't really know what that sword was. That's why you can't see out of your eye, I think you'll be blind there for good."

"I guess if I'd been a mage, I'd be dead then…" Marian joked, but it sounded hollow as Bethany growled, literally growled with anger as she let Marian's hand fall back to the bed and stood up.

"I don't care what you are!" Bethany said coldly, the anger rising swiftly and easily to the surface as she pointed her finger at her shocked sister. "I don't want my sister to die for me, I want her to live for me; I can't lose you too!"

Clenching her fists Bethany shuddered as she felt the tears crawling down her face. "I don't care about the glory or fame like Carver always did. I only wanted to be normal and I only wanted my family to be there, forever. I never wanted you to die for me, but you never understood that."

"I…" Marian laid there in shock as she looked at Bethany, who had grown up somehow, without her noticing the small changes in so many ways.

"Don't say you're sorry. It's who you are;" Bethany sighed as she gently kissed Marian's cheek tenderly, "I love you, and I'll be back in a moment." Bethany stood and opened the door even as Marian winced at the light that seemed too bright to her eye.

Listening to the door close softly she sighed closing her eyes. _Just a short nap, I'll handle this later… _Marian decided as she fell asleep, a short nap and then she'd leave the dark cabin; there were things to do and she had to see Fenris.

Bethany closed the door softly, turned to look at their friends, and smiled tiredly. "She woke up and managed to talk to me for a few moments, even made a joke once." Her eyes still glistened with unshed tears as Aveline put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"How…how is she?" Fenris was clenching his fists as he started towards Bethany but she shook her head. "She's not really awake Fenris, and she's very disoriented. She thought I was our mother." Bethany replied tiredly as she shook her head.

"About time she's awake. That's the last time we let her try and save the world, again..." Isabela grumped as she looked down at the tired mage and sighed in relief as she elbowed Merrill, "I told you she would be okay. She's never going to give up." Isabela grinned, the relief in her eyes well hidden as she rolled her eyes. "That girl could outlive almost anything!"

"It's the almost that worries me." Varric replied and then he laughed, "I suppose that makes her human in the end."

Merrill nodded thoughtfully, "well there was a lot for her body to handle, and those herbs helped." The elf pondered the fact for a moment and tapped her cheek suddenly. "I wonder if she's seeing normally or in colours." Everyone glanced curiously at the elf who shrugged, "some of the herbs were very strong, not aged right. Makes you see things."

Varric arched an eyebrow, "do I want to know how you know these things?" He joked but Fenris didn't bother to listen anymore. He strolled over to the door and wrenched it open as Bethany began to protest. "I will not leave her along again…ever! I promised her that, I intend to keep it." He replied vehemently as he closed the door.

"Fenris, she needs to sleep." Aveline reached for the door when a bellowed 'stay out' was issued from the small cabin. She glared at the offending door, but left it alone. Varric let out a low whistle, "looks like Broody's wallowing in love all over again."

Isabela laughed as she leaned over the railing, "Hawke has him wrapped around her finger and she doesn't even know it." She pouted for a minute before raising her eyebrows suggestively at Bethany who flushed. "You know, you're a Hawke too…" She started down the stairs as Bethany hide behind Aveline. "No, no, no, again, no!" Bethany squeaked as Varric laughed and Aveline smiled reluctantly.

"Not again," Aveline frowned and shrugged looking at Bethany. "I can't run in this armor, just keep out of her reach."

"Damnit Aveline. You're supposed to save me, not abandon me!" Bethany dashed off down the deck as Isabela chased her, cheerfully calling out lewd suggestions to the younger woman.

Varric smirked as he watched the antics of the two women and glanced at Aveline who was doing her best not to laugh. "Sunshine certainly needed a smile and a dance, didn't she?"

"Yes." Aveline nodded as Isabela began to climb up the rigging with Bethany halfway to the top already. "Beth did need to have some fun again, even if it's not what she entertained."

"I'm warning you Isabela, I will set you on fire!" Bethany yelled down as she watched Isabela climb closer.

"That would be rather foolish of you, what happens if you sink _my_ ship?" Isabela chortled happily, "then I will have to hold you under and drag you out of water onto shore!"

"Isabela!" Bethany wailed as the rest of the companions started to laugh.

* * *

><p><em>Inside the Cabin...<em>

Fenris entered the cabin silently as crossed over to the window that Bethany had shuttered shut sometime before. He turned around as Hawke mumbled but didn't wake up. Sighing he sat beside her in the chair and hesitantly took her scarred hand in his.

"I am yours." He whispered to the sleeping woman, hoping against the voice in his head telling him that she couldn't possibly hear her favourite quote as he stared into the heavily bandaged face and closed his eyes. Breathing deeply he tried to calm himself as he took in each and every scar that he could see.

Her left eye was covered with bandages, a deep cut slashed down over it just at the edge of her chin. Several areas of burned or withered skin marred the soft pale colour of her face. She would limp from the cut to the back of her right leg now, and there were many more numerous cuts on her.

Bethany and Merrill had managed to save her arm and fix her ribs, and the nasty gash that had ran the length of her leg though Marian had screamed herself into oblivion while they had done so. Fenris had not been able to bear it and left before he had killed someone.

Isabela and Varric had joined him later, Isabela stating that it was just too much to handle at the moment. Varric had agreed in that it was too much, he was only here for the drink that Fenris owed him and they all needed to forget the battle that was so freshly scarred into their minds.

Finishing off several bottles, Fenris had said too much, and little as his friends stared at him in amazement of his tirades and musings of Hawke. It was the one thing that had been on his mind, the only thing that mattered.

The moment Aveline had come downstairs with a wan smile and told them, looking him straight in the eye that Marian, not Hawke, but Marian lived he lost everything had cried then. Isabela and Varric never said a word, but there was an odd look in Isabela's eyes as she watched the elf cry.

She's alive, that was the one thought that floated in his mind as his friends took their leave, Varric and Isabela discussing on how to stock her ship the best. He didn't care what happened; he was relieved that she had lived, even though she had promised him that if he did, she would as well before the battle.

"She brings out the best in everyone." Isabela had offered when he realized that he hadn't been alone and she smiled before insisting that they start stocking the ship as she wanted be far away from Kirkwall as soon as possible. Hawke wasn't going anywhere and she needed to sleep, Fenris had allowed himself to be pulled away. He was uncertain if he had the strength to see her right then.

"Fen…?" Hawke's eye had opened and she murmured the word as he gripped her hand tightly and leaned in so she could see his face, his green eyes that she loved so much.

"I am here, love." He replied as she sighed happily and reached out to touch his face weakly.

"I had an awful dream," she whispered as she ran her hand over his face lightly unaware of the sharp look in his eyes. "You're safe now, Hawke. Don't worry, it was only a dream." He replied carefully wondering what he should do now. _Dreams were not his specialty and his method of making her forget dreams was not possible at this point in time._

"That's what you said in the dream." Hawke frowned slightly as she opened her eye again. "I dreamed that I killed someone very important and yet I didn't kill the right person and made a mistake…"

"You did the right thing as much as I may disagree, Hawke." Fenris replied staring at the woman before him. "You've always done the right thing. Using your heart and head."

She whimpered as the pain from her injuries became stronger. Fenris grounded his teeth before he slipped his armor off. At the sound of it falling to the ground, Hawke looked at him her. "What are…?" She asked before he shushed her and slid into the big bed besides her.

Moving carefully he leaned her against him as she half moaned and sighed. "Sleep my love. I will never leave you alone again." He whispered as she fell asleep, the lyrium tattoos glowing brightly beneath her body. For once they didn't bother him as she lay on him breathing evenly. He brushed some of her hair back and smiled as she pressed into him.

She was alive. Everything was going to be fine.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A low growl woke the sleeping camp as several figures moved through the shadows. Violet eyes slid open half-lidded as they blinked taking in the intruders moving through the camp. She rolled over feeling the reassuring touch of her staff and the blanket that her baby was sleeping on.

A crunch of a boot stepping closer to her, from the twitch of her mabari she knew he was awake and just waiting to tear into their 'guests' but Elaine was curious and she wanted to know what they were doing before she attacked.

"Lookit what we have here," one of the intruders called out softly, "a little imp."

Another was rummaging through the meagre food packs they left and snorted. "Well stab them already and we'll sell the brat to slavers-"

Violet eyes full of fury, Elaine jumped up swiftly as arcs of lightening shot from her fingertips in a rather display of magic, her companions jumping up as well, the fight beginning in earnest.

"Duke, protect Isaac," she screamed at her dog as she unleashed a fireball into the incoming bandits, the main party now rushing to aid the two scouts they had sent up ahead. Elaine ducked and whirled, her staff and magic lashing out at anyone she did not recognize.

Breathing heavily she cast a mind-bomb spell on the three men standing in front of her, silently thanking Morrigan for teaching her the particular effectiveness of that years ago when she had just been the Warden travelling through the land, collecting promises of armies.

A cry wailed through the silence and she whirled in shock, her violet eyes turning red as she summoned the blood-magic and raised her hand to cast another particular nasty spell only to have her legs swept out from underneath of her as someone grabbed her shoulder and pinned her to the ground.

Struggling wildly, Elaine didn't realize that the _person _pinning her to the ground was Nathaniel until he had slapped her across the face twice. She tried to focus on what he was saying just in time to hear him reassure her.

"He's fine, Elaine. Stop fighting, the battle's done." Nathaniel shouted as the red slowly started to fade from her violet eyes as she looked at him in confusion. "Nate?" She queried as he sighed with relief but still wary, Elaine Amell was much stronger, much craftier than most gave her credit for..._much, much, much, more than what you'd expect from her... _Nathaniel mused as she stopped struggling and relaxed.

"I'm fine," she sighed squirming a little, "let me up will you?" She stared into hard grey eyes as her friend shook his head, "let the blood magic go Elaine. All of it."

"Oh that's what the problem is," she frowned for a minute and then it disappeared as her eyes returned to normal; she rolled her eyes and pushed at his chest. "Let. Me. Up. Now." She persisted as he rolled off and stood up offering her a hand.

She grabbed it and scrambled over to Duke, who huffed happily at her as her son giggled and reached his arms out to his mother. "Oh Isaac," she sighed as she hugged him tight to her. She glanced around the camp counting ten bodies on the ground. "Who and how...?" She asked as Nathaniel nodded to the grimacing lookout who was rubbing his head.

"They knocked out Hector, and I'm guessing that our other recruit is dead." He wiped his dagger on one of the bodies and started to rifle through the pockets. Elaine sighed and then walked over to the elf who was glaring at the bandits as if it would make up for being knocked out.

"How are you feeling, kid?" She asked as the boy's head snapped around to look at her, apprehension in his face. He was obviously waiting to be chewed out by his commanding officer but she ignored that fact as she took in the bruised marks on his neck, the split-lip and black eye.

_They had not been kind when they'd taken him down. _Elaine mused as she waited for the boy's pride to flare before she healed him. _Boys were touchy like that, especially recently freed elven slaves that had been abused,_ she sighed as he began to curse and rave.

"Like an idiot, I let those shem take me like a...like a harlot goes to bed with a man." He snapped as the Commander listened to him silently. "I, I should have been on the ball, not falling asleep." He looked down at the ground waiting for the blow but it never came.

"Well at least you tried, right?" She smiled as Hector's eyes locked onto hers and tried to keep her laugher hidden. "Here then." She frowned thoughtfully for a minute and then a soft blue light started to glow from her fingers as she traced them across his face just inches away from touching him.

Hector stared at the smiling mage in partial fear and then felt his face frantically. There was no soreness at all and no scars either. "...you...you healed me!" He blurted out as the other officer; Nathaniel snorted joining them at the campfire.

"She's a mage, boy. She does that now and then, when she's not blowing people up or having nightmares and waking up flaming everything in sight. Offmp!" Nathaniel grunted as he was elbowed in the stomach, as Elaine glared at him. "That was only once, and I healed you after!" She shifted her son as he mumbled in his sleep and moved closer to the fire.

As their conversation ended, Nathaniel started to order the occupants in the camp around and turned to Hector. "Get yourself ready, we're moving out as soon as we break camp and she's done feeding his royal highness." There were a few grumbles as the tired recruits began to divide the supplies that they had left to carry but no real dissent as the Commander sat besides the mage who was now quiet as she stared into the fire.

"Milady, we need to charter a ship back to Denerim. We're just wandering in circles." Nathaniel sipped his coffee as she stared into the fire in thought. "If your cousin did spare him, he's long gone. That man has the unique ability to escape."

Elaine smirked at that, "aye and he's always captured later on." She sighed, "I'm sure Marian would've let him go, especially if he was her friend. What I need to do is find out why and _exactly_ how it was done."

"Magic obviously." Hector snipped grumpily as he passed them, dragging one of the bodies away from the campsite.

Elaine rolled her eyes, "yes magic obviously, but what spell and if it really was..." She trailed off as he looked down into the blue eyes of her son.

"We know Anders was responsible, Elaine, why do you try to pretend otherwise?" Nathaniel all but yelled at her as she shook her head.

"Because I lost two friends and then those two _friends _ended up plotting and murdering hundreds of people. I am responsible for some of this mess, and I should do my part to fix this..." She ignored the clench of Nathaniel's jaw as she stood up and wandered over to their packs.

"Anders choose to let Justice merge with him, it was mutual. He also always complained of the Templar's actions against the Mages. He is to fault, not you." Nathaniel shot back as she tensed. The recruits stood in the center of the camp, gaping as their two commanders argued with each other, forgetting they had an audience and yelling louder with each word.

"Do not push me." Thunder crackled in the air as Elaine's eyes glinted dangerously as she glared at her friend. "I will not hold back, Nate." Small currents of energy snapped in the air around her as Isaac gurgled at the light show, laughing his eyes wide as he stared at the light and tried to reach out to them.

A scowl darkened his face, "yes you will. You hold the prince in your arms." Elaine's arms tightened notably around her son as she continued to glare at him. "And you are needlessly blaming yourself for a fool's error." He pointed his dagger at the young prince who yawned sleepily in her arms. "You have a duty, you removed Anora from the throne, saved Ferelden from the Archdemon, crowned Alistair and bore two children, something almost unheard of for a Warden."

"Would you have rather him married Anora and allowed her to rule the kingdom?" Elaine shot back as her dog growled under his breath. "Or that I left him to the Nobles and allowed them to rule?"

Nathaniel smiled as she spluttered off, the intense sensation of magic dissipating from the air around him; "you did what felt was right. A better judgement than most would have used during trying times. But you still refuse to do your duty."

"Did I?" Elaine asked as she glanced into grey eyes and for a moment, Nathaniel could have sworn he was looking into the eyes of a young girl, not the woman who had fought at his side, killed the Archdemon, raised the bastard child to the throne, saved Vigil's keep and birthed two heirs to the throne. "Princess Rose and King Alistair miss you... and the kingdom needs you as well, at home in Denerim."

"I know." Elaine replied as she motioned for the camp to move out. "First we head to the tavern, and then we will decide on our next move." She turned to the path as Nathaniel watched her for a minute and followed her, yelling to the shocked recruits to move out.

Hector glanced at both his commanders briefly. Elaine was responsible for him being here, she had defended her choice to recruit him when Nathaniel had pointedly refused when they first met. There were times like these when he really wondered who was really in command some days.

Luc nudged the elf, "oi elf take this, it's light enough for you." He shoved the heavy pack into the elf's arms and laughed as Hector stumbled and nearly fell. Glaring at the ex-Templar in training's back as he joked with Davis about something, Hector struggled up, determined to do his hardest to survive.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You're sure that is their ship? Hardly what I'd expect it to be called." Elaine laughed delightedly as she stared at Siren's Call II and smirked as she glanced at Nathaniel who stared at her blankly. "Commander?" he was distractedly scanning the streets for Hector and the other recruits he had sent to mingle and most importantly find any traces of Bethany Hawke.

"Let's just say some of the rumours are true, Nate." Elaine replied gleefully, mentally adding a mark to the score in her head on how many times she had made her friend blush or flinch with her little snippets here and there.

"I don't believe I needed to know _which _rumours are true." he replied firmly as he shook his head. "Remind me how you managed to kill the Archdemon again?" Nathaniel sometimes found it hard to believe that this carefree mage who loved nothing more than to find mischief and trouble was the Queen of Ferelden, mother of two children, and the Warden-Commander as well; as he had to keep reminding himself throughout this eight month long journey.

Elaine sighed, "I know what you're thinking, Nate. There's a time and place for everything and this is not one of them." Elaine cocked her head as she heard a faint boom in the distance. "Did you hear that?" she asked eyes narrowed as she reached towards her staff as a sudden commotion in the marketplace echoed loudly as several figures ran towards them.

Hector ducked as the Commander unleashed a small fireball missing myself as he grabbed he arm pulling her along behind him. "Commander, we found her. Davis and Luc grabbed her, we're being chased." he yelled as they ran from the explosions rocketing the marketplace.

"You did what?" Nathaniel bellowed as he shot a guard stepping into their path, "that's not what you tasked with!"

Hector gritted his teeth, "your other recruits don't inform knife-ears of what they planned to do," he twisted letting go of Elaine's arm as he shot an arrow behind them, fire trailing behind it. He glanced at Elaine, "and from what I heard, nothing good will come of it."

"We have to hurry then." Elaine gasped as she raised a shield to protect her son, Duke running along besides her. "Track!" She shouted as the hound bounded off ahead of the wardens. They kept running, running away from the small forgotten town, away from their pursuers, towards the unknown.

Line break

Varric coughed as he spat out a mouthful of hay. "When I said duck, I didn't mean throw me into a pile of hay." he glared at the equally irritated pirate who was pulling strands of hay out of her hair.

"Does it look like I'm enjoying this as well?" Isabela snapped back, dusting herself off quickly. "This is why inns are never a good idea," she muttered as she glared at the dwarf who grounded his teeth in frustration.

"Hawke will kill us if we don't get Bethany back." Varric reminded her as Isabela rolled her eyes, a grim look lingering on her face as she thought for a minute. "Hawke can barely walk from the bed to the door on her own without fainting," Isabela replied bitterly as she pulled the dwarf to his feet and shuddered suddenly. "Aveline, now I'd be afraid of her. "

"Shit, you have a point there Rivanni." Varric nodded as he checked that Bianca was secured on his back he glanced down the road, "we'd best hurry if we want to make it back for Wicked Grace tonight."

"Indeed," Isabela replied her eyes lighting up as she grinned, devious plans rolling into her mind. Varric took one look at her as they set off sighing as he looked determinedly ahead. "I don't want to know do I?"

Isabela laughed happily, "I bet we can make it a strip night if Hawke's in a good mood. Seeing Fenris and Bethany…" she cooed to herself as the dwarf half smiled and shook his heads.

* * *

><p><em>Why do you always joke around? Bethany stared at her sister who looked back at her with an amused glance on her face and smiled sadly. "I've always been like this, I'm never going to change, sis." She replied before Varric snorted. "Don't worry Sunshine, it just helps…hide the pain."<em>

"_Pain?" Bethany replied bitterly as Hawke moved on ahead staring at her back, "Marian knows nothing of the pain I am trapped in."_

_Varric glanced at her his mouth set tightly for a minute, "Sunshine that's unfair of you. Do you know how overjoyed Marian was to see you? Or have you not read the letters Isabela and I have sent you?"_

"_Yes, I have…" Bethany paused, "it's harder you know, being back here with her watching as she reverts back to protecting her little sister again, being there for me as always." Bethany muttered as she watched Marian brush back some of Fenris' hair softly as she giggled when he said something back to her sharply._

"_She loves you." Varric replied as Bethany nodded, "I think that's what makes it hurt worse Varric, knowing that and watching her get killed for me would do nothing but destroy me."_

_As Bethany looked at Marian she could see the changes that progressed since she'd left her side in the deep roads. She wanted to hug her sister, to cry on her shoulder, to slap her in the face, but she just didn't know if she could give into the emotions exploding inside of her right now._


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Bethany groaned as she opened her eyes shaking her head to clear it. The sharp stab of pain seared through her skull as a man chuckled nearby. "I'd suggest you stay still, that drug has a nasty kick. Especially apostates... "

A pair of hands pulled her upright into a sitting position against the tree. Her jaw ached horribly and she winced as the movement spent the previously mentioned pain shooting thru her body.

"Jeez, Davis I think you gave her too much of that poison..." Luc stared at the drugged woman with a furrowed brow. Bethany felt her hopes beginning to rise, perhaps this man would help her escape or at least keep the other man away. She shivered as she saw the dark look in his eyes as he glanced at her. "She's no good to us if we can't enjoy her." Luc continued as he grasped Bethany's face with a rough hand twisting it to look at the jagged cut crawling down the left side of her face.

Davis shrugged at Luc as he poked the fire again with his sword, "and when's the last time you got any?"

Maker! Bethany swore mentally as the realization of the trouble she was in dawned on her. She was drugged, and she couldn't use her magic, though she could feel it, somehow it was blocked. _Davis had said the poison drained mages..._ "Templar..." Bethany managed her words slurred and slow as she looked at Davis. It was all too visible now, the way he sat, the tension radiating from his body. Years of running and this was the closest one had ever been to capturing her.

_The closest to capture me without Marian...none of my family to come dashing to my rescue... A small voice in her head whispered to even as she recalled she had wanted to fight on her own...for Marian to stop protecting her._ _Maker not like this..._ Bethany screamed in her mind as emotions erupted inside of her. Struggling to reach past the blocking of her magic, she fought for release.

Davis stood up as he watched the mage withdrew into herself, he smirked they always did that, not that it mattered. Luc had left her side, finally becoming bored of waiting to see if she'd become more animated. That wasn't going to happen though, Davis reflected, spitting his tobacco on the ground near the mage and backhanded her, ignoring the cry of pain as she was jolted out of whatever spell she'd been trying cast.

"Your little Mage rebellion destroyed the good life I had, and it's all your fault, each and every mage, you're all to blame." He grinned sickeningly at her, watching her dull eyes widen in fear, "they was going to execute me for killing one of those lil'knife ears." he leaned in close to her ear as he groped her chest with a rough hand, "she was a mage too..."

Bethany blinked slowly as she tried to pull away, her body barely responding as she drew in a shuddering breathe. Grimly she began to gather the smallest amount of her magic and held it, clinging to the small bit she was able to hold. _Panic later, not now... _she chanted in her mind as she continued to gather the smaller pieces of her magic to her.

Luc glanced over scowling as he saw Davis fondle the mage. "Ain't we supposed to be sharing?" he grumbled as Davis growled at him. "My poison, I get first claims." Davis replied as he pushed the woman onto the ground slapping her face again as she struggled weakly, still bounded with the ropes. "She'll be much more animated after this. The poison will wear out faster." Straddling her waist, Davis leered down at the glaring mage.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks again for the story alerts and all that jazz. Next Chapter should be up in a day or two.

It shouldn't get much more violent, and this is to be used as character development, I do not condone rape in any way or form.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Scream you bitch." Davis yelled as he slapped her again and again as Bethany tried to reach her magic once again. Tears fell down her face as she screamed into her rag, the sounds muffled.

Davis leaned over her, leering as she tried to use her magic, tears flowing freely down her face. Bethany's body shook in terrible as she shuddered. _I can't… _the small treacherous voice whispered inside her mind as a whirlwind of terror and disgust swept through her. _I can… do… _

A blue light flashed through the air as Bethany steeled herself to send out the small burst of magic. Davis' face went slack as his muscles seized up. His screamed went silent as his mouth opened in agony, the small burst Bethany had gathered burning his face.

Elaine Amell stepped into the camp, her violet eyes rapidly turning red as she pricked her fingertip with her dagger. Raising a hand she chanted words and watched as Davis was raised into the air, his body jerking as she began to draw his blood out of his skin, slowly.

"Davis, what's going-?" Luc came dashing from the forest, and stumbled as he saw the slight woman with red eyes regard him coldly. A guttural groan trailed as Davis jerked again, his blood swirling out of his skin suspended in midair. The other mage was still on the ground, bound and gagged yet Luc could feel the air crackle with unused magic.

Waving a hand causally, Elaine ignored Duke as he bounded towards Luc, snarling as he pounced on the yelling man, his jaws making short work of his face. Elaine stood covered in blood regarding the ex-Templar in the air, regarding the man darkly as she considered the most painful way she could kill him.

"Elaine, don't!" The yell thundered through camp as Nathaniel and Hector came dashing into the camp. Nathaniel grabbed her shoulders and shook her as snarled, rage in her eyes as she shifted her glaze to him.

"He deserves to die, he deserves to be tortured! You don't know what they're like…what it's like…" She screamed at Nate as Hector rushed over to Bethany's side and placed the sling holding Isaac near her, just out of reach.

"You shouldn't be the one to do this." Nathaniel replied as he pointed to her cousin. "Bethany Hawke, not Elaine Amell was nearly raped. Bethany Hawke, not Elaine Amell was kidnapped. You aren't in the Circle anymore…" Nathaniel watched Elaine as her chest heaved, tears trembling down her face.

Hector looked down at the shaking mage as he began to speak slowly, hopefully in a reassuring voice; "I mean you no harm," he said quietly as terrified brown eyes rolled wildly. Pulling his dagger out slowly, he explained to her that he was going to cut the ropes and remove the gag. "We're Gray Wardens and we've been looking for you, and some of your friends." He smiled though it was more of a grimace, "I think they were chasing us as we ran after you and …the other men."

Bethany's eyes narrowed at his comments, as he gingerly pulled the rag from her mouth she rasped, "Why are the Wardens looking for me? Am I named traitor now?" She looked at the elf guarded as he ruffled through his pack, pulling out a flask as he offered it to her. She shook her head, "I don't trust you…" she hissed as she glared at the elf. "The last Wardens who came looking for me tried to rape me."

"Then you'll trust me, at least Cousin." Elaine made her way over to Bethany's side tiredly as she dropped onto the ground with a thump. Glancing at Hector she nodded and sighed, "I can take over here. Go help Nate secure the prisoners and don't let them escape." Her eyes darkened as she stared at the elf who nodded wordlessly, giving her his dagger as he stood.

"Duke!" Elaine called as the hound bounded over to her side. Rubbing him quickly on the head, she pointed at Isaac sleeping peacefully, "guard him." Turning back to Bethany she used her magic to remove the poison from the woman's body, thanking the Architect for the knowledge of magic he had been able to teach her.

"Elaine?" Bethany stared in confusion as a veil of magic was lifted from her eyes. Suddenly her magic rushed back to her as Elaine smiled tiredly at her cousin. "It's ok Beth, its okay…" Slicing the last ropes that had bounded Bethany she pulled the trembling woman to her as she clutched her tightly. Sighing softly Elaine rocked her cousin back and forth in her arms as she stared off into the distance. `


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Bethany sat staring into the fire in front of her, just remembering. She had cried herself to sleep in Elaine's arms the previous night after the drugged effect of Davis's potion had been neutralized by Elaine's magic. _Magic that wasn't entirely normal either,_ Bethany mused quietly as she watched the flames crackle and leap into the air only to fall and rise constantly.

She shuddered for a minute remembering the helpless feelings before she had started to 'store' her magic inside of her. She could fight on her own, hell she'd fought in the Mage-Templar civil war and survived, the Deep Roads, becoming a Warden… what was it worth if she lost it when a Templar tried to…

Angry tears burned their way down her face as she glared at the fire in front of her. She was strong, she knew that and she could fight with Marian and survive. She knew that was true, she'd been doing it for the last four or years.

* * *

><p><em>"Bethany come on, we'll never catch up if we don't hurry." Carver pulls her along though she is only half resisting as they chase after their sister into the night. Giggling they try to make no noise, but six year olds aren't as stealthy as they think.<em>

_Running around the corner, Carver is grabbed from behind as a hand clamps over his mouth, muffling the startled squeak as Bethany trips over an extended leg with a squeal. Marian glares at her siblings in frustration._

_"Why are you following me? What would Mother and Father say!" Letting go of her brother he glares back at her, "we wanted to come on the adventure too, it's not fair. You always get to do things we don't!" His small fists curl up into small balls as Marian chuckles at his comment before ruffling his hair._

_"That's 'cause I'm older than you, kid." She helps Bethany off the ground and sighs. "I'm going to see the elves. If you are coming, then be quiet." She hisses before holding her hand out to Bethany who's now hiding in the shadows. "It'll be okay, Bethy, they're just elves." She grins down at the shy girl who smiles back and takes the offered hand. "You'll protect me?" She asks as she stares up at Marian who smiles back and squeezes her hand. "Of course silly, I'll always be there."_

* * *

><p>Bethany looked up as a hand softly shook her shoulder startling her out of her reverie. Elaine watched as her eyes widened and narrowed before she realised that she was merely looking at her cousin. Taking a small breath she sighed and nodded as Elaine sat down beside her, Isaac in her arms crying to be fed. "You don't mind do you?" Elaine asked as she started to lift her shirt allowing Isaac to suck on her breast.<p>

Bethany smiled as she shook her head, "no, your son is adorable." She paused for a minute remembering the first time she had held him. Something so small and innocent, Elaine was smitten with love whenever she was attending to Isaac.

"Every time I look at him, I know despite of what I've done, there's still some good left inside me." Elaine looked down as tears tried to spill over her eyes at the lost twin sister he'd never know. "Darkspawn be damned, one day we'll find the last of them and finally remove the threat. And we'll find a way around the Calling too one day."

Bethany looked over at Elaine's curiously bright eyes in annoyance. "How can you say that? You didn't see what Larius was like, and you didn't fight Janeka and kill Corypheus… I don't think we're supposed to come back like that. He looked horrid." She was silent for a minute. "Marian thought he was possessed, something wrong with him…"

Elaine moved Isaac to her other breast wincing slightly as she shrugged her shoulders. "The Architect is providing us with some answers, though however much good that will do, I don't know." She shrugged, "it seemed the best choice at the time; and help offered is much better than scorned."

"Was it the right thing to do, though? How can we trust them?" Bethany asked as Elaine sighed. "The only answer to that is that Alistair and I are in this together," her eyes flashed with longing and she smiled slightly, "and we'll fight till we fall rotting to the ground."

"That is disgustingly cute and revolting, just like Marian." Bethany snorted as she looked into the fire.

"Marian wouldn't abandon you if you turned into something less beautiful, Bethany. You should know better than that." Elaine reprimanded her sharply as she caught a half-muttered comment obviously not meant to reach her ears.

"I don't want her to protect me for the rest of my life. I want her to live…." Bethany stopped as she pondered her thoughts. "I want her to live for herself, for once in her life to not worry about keeping _me _safe."

The denial was gone now as Bethany started to cry again, Elaine pulling her closer as she wrapped her arm around her. "I know," she muttered soothingly as she rubbed her back. "Don't worry, we'll go back and talk to Marian, set the stubborn girl straight. It's okay…"

* * *

><p><em>"…that hurts…." Marian groaned as she looked up into three faces staring down at her. She was lying on her back, head in Bethany's lap as she probed the deep cut on her forehead. Bethany glared down at her sister barely resisting the temptation to smack her already dazed sister.<em>

_"You were being recklessly, what good does a corpse do me?" She asks softly as she began to heal the cut with her magic. "Umm, dead Templar can't hurt you, Aveline and Isabela would keep you safe till you reached home?" Marian suggests cautiously as Aveline mutters a curse under her breath digging around in their pack._

_"You should be more careful, Hawke!" Aveline wraps a bandage around her arm as Hawke winces and opens her eyes. "You were too outnumbered in that fight. You should have died." _

_"So you're saying you should see the other guy?" The three women stare incredulously at her for a minute and she rolls her eyes. "Fine, you should see the other guys, plural right?"_

_"Does she ever stop with the awful humor?" Isabela groans as Bethany shakes her head. "Yes, yes, you should see the other guys, Hawke! Ten bodies and your blood is everywhere, even on the bloody loot we plundered. Isabela replies with a pouting smirk as Hawke laughs weakly."_

_"I told you, I was deadly…" Hawke grins briefly as Aveline tells her to shut up. "Yes, Mother." She yawns as Bethany shakes her but the pull of sleep is stronger._

_"Marian, you can't sleep yet…" She calls but Marian only mutters sleepily as Bethany purses her lips for a minute. "I need your help Marian; you have to stay awake now."_

_"I'll be there in a minute…tired…Beth." Marian whispers again as she tries to touch her sister's fading face, "…always be…"_

_"I'll always be there, I know." Bethany replies bitterly to the unconscious warrior as tears fall from her face._

* * *

><p>Varric wiped his brow as he stared down into the clearing, "she looks alright from here. What do you think?"<p>

Isabela was staring at the short female human near the fire and there was a suggestive look on her face as she almost purred, "sex!" She continued to stare at the short brunette human, her hair done up in a knot with an almost predatory look in her eyes. Waving a hand distractedly as Varric spluttered at her she giggled. "And just who is this short brunette that you're so fixated on?" Varric shot her a dirty look as he put Bianca back in her sling.

"_That short brunette_ my dear friend, is the Hero of Ferelden. Obviously the Wardens picked Bethany and she's all right as far as I can see from up here." Isabela replied seriously as she stood up and dusted herself off.

"Andraste's tits, Rivani, where are you going…?" Varric growls as she starts to walk down the hill, humming away in a cheerful tune.

"Too retrieve Bethany, and my sexy conquest!" Isabela calls backs a look of pure lust on her face as she laughs delightedly.

"Why me…?" He mutters to Bianca as he sighs and starts to follow the dark skinned pirate down the hill.

* * *

><p>AN: **First** apologies for the long delay in updating. There was many interuptions, a lack of interenet and also some nasty writer's block. **Second:** Thanks for all the favourite stories and followers, and a special thank you to Kadarnell2 and fujingodofwind for the wonderful reviews. **Third: **This chapter ma y be redited/done at somepoint as I do not like still **_and _**I hope to have the next chapter up tonight, but there seems to be an uploading issue with the site. Will see what I can do!


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Hawke shivered as a blurred image moved in closer to draw the blanket she's just managed to push off back up to her shoulders. A low groan followed as Fenris brushed her hair out eyes; she'd talked of getting it cut before the battle as it'd been outgrowing her favourite length, but there hadn't been time. He sighed remembering how they'd argued about her continuously helping the city and its residents.

Fenris had firmly agreed with Isabela when she told the Champion one day as they dragged her back from the Wounded Coast that she was going to burn out or burn herself by getting involved in every single problem. Hawke had torn herself away from their grasp, standing there swaying as she retorted that if no one stepped up or offered to help then they wouldn't be there at that very moment, right before falling flat on her face effectively ending the argument.

"Hot..." Hawke struggled weakly as he tried to keep her from throwing the blanket off again. She groaned again as Fenris placed another wet cloth on her forehead muttering in Tevinter as he did. He yawned as he leaned in closer to his… Fenris paused in sudden reflection and panic. They had never truly discussed were their relationship was, even after he had returned and had finally admitted to Marian that he had been wrong, that she mattered and he would stay with her and never leave her again.

"I love you…Marian, please." He grips her hand tightly as she moans again, her body wracked with tremors. "Don't give in, fight this." He whispers into her ear, tears shimmering in his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Laughter echoes from the dwarf's room as he stands outside the closed door. Water drips down his face as he listens to the muffled conversation but he can pick out the individuals with ease; Isabela, Varric, Hawke, and her mabari Jace. He opens the door and stands in the entranceway as the thunder rolls overhead from the storm outside. Varric utters a curse as he stares at the elf, Isabela's hands drop to her daggers and Hawke slowly turns around, an eyebrow arched with a small quirky grin on her face.<em>

_A gasp and the smile is gone, the cold stare pins him motionless as her bright blue eyes bore into him; the pain he had felt as the Arishok sliced through Hawke's armor, the look of defeat and hollowness on her face as her mother died, all of Bethany's rejections towards her sister …was nothing compared to this._

"_I came back, I was- I needed time to think."_

"_Time to think…you were gone awfully long time, left the city even." Her voice chilled as she spits the words out, tears blurring her eyes as she stared at the man she loved. "You left me after I gave you everything… why did you leave? I would've helped you." She cried out throwing her arms wide as he staggered back._

"_I am sorry." He offers weakly as she brushes past him, her hand touching his for one electrifying moment. Isabela glares at him for a minute before hurrying after Hawke. Varric sighs, "You do know how to make an entrance." He shakes his head as the elf slides into the seat Hawke had previously been sitting in and stares into the mug._

"_I do not know what to do. I know I was wrong." Fenris mumbles as he looks up and for once decides that he truly needs to ask his friend for help. "What do I do?" He swallows half the mug as Varric stares back lost in thought._

"_Apologize, talk to her, but if you hurt her again Elf, you'll not be getting off so lightly." Varric's voice turns colds as he fingers Bianca's trigger, a cold glare directed towards the elf. "As your friend I'm glad to see you've come back. Maker ass, she's missed you." He pauses as he takes a drink, "she doesn't hate you, but you hurt her pretty bad… give her some time to adjust."_

_Fenris nods miserably as he takes another swallow. "I will do anything it takes to get her back."_

* * *

><p>"Is there no change?" Aveline's voice cut through the oppressing silence as she entered the cabin. Her face tightened as Fenris shook his head again, "her fever worsens…I do not know how much longer she'll hold out."<p>

Aveline clenched her jaw tightly as she stared at the woman she called friend, her adopted family. "She won't give into this Fenris, she's stronger than that. After everything we've been through."

"Exactly." Fenris shot to his feet in fury, his markings glowing slightly as he gestured towards Hawke. "After everything we've been through she deserves a break. Feverish and nearly having died, too many times. What if she doesn't want to wake?" Tears shimmered in Fenris' eyes as Aveline glared at him.

With a growl she had pinned the elf against the wall, her armored arm pressed tight across his chest. "I was there during the fight and I heard what you say to Hawke before we left for the last battle." Anger flashed in her eyes, "Hawke fought so we could _all _live and she won't give up. She loves you too much to let go."

Fenris searched her face for a minute before she let go and pointed to the door. "Get some sleep, I'll watch her."

Fenris nodded slowly, Aveline was right he needed to sleep. All these emotions he was slipping and it would do him no good.

Aveline groaned as she sat down by her friend, "whatever you see in him I'll never understand." she spoke out loud and sighed. "Prove me right Marian, I don't want to be wrong." holding her hand lightly, Aveline closed her eyes as she began to pray.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **As I'm uploading this from my mobile there may be some errors, etc... 'll be correcting possibly altering the chapter later. Sorry about the wait.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

* * *

><p>Isabela's eyes widened as she looks at the small baby that Elaine was holding possessively in her arms. "You actually stuck with him didn't you?" She stated accusingly, her face falling as Elaine raised a rather pointed eyebrow at her.<p>

"Does this mean no sex?" Isabela replied mournfully as Bethany turned to stare at her friend, her face paling.

"Those weren't... ju-ju- just rumors?" she squeaked in a rather high pitched voice as Varric roars with laughter at the smug look on Elaine's smirking face. "Maker's purpled ass, Isabela! It's not lunch time.

Can't you wait till after I feed my son to jump me?" Elaine replied and then arched an eyebrow at the laughing dwarf. "Purpled ass… No, no I'm not going to ask." She shook her head as Isabela and Varric shared a wicked smile, obviously some joke between the two of them. Staring jealously at the baby in Elaine's arms Isabela frowned at the small bundle, "as long as he doesn't tire my little friends out, I'll be fine."

"Little? They're not little!" Elaine shrieked as Nathaniel groaned and Bethany plugged her ears. "I'm not hearing this, I'm not hearing this," she closed her eyes tightly as Isabela and Elaine continued to banter back and forth. The rest of the camp is staring at the two women in shock, or amusement as Varric continues to laugh.

"Well they are modest, but they don't really compare." Isabela grins wickedly as she waving to her own breasts as Elaine huffs in reply and turns away. "Being bigger doesn't mean everything." She snorts as she turns back to look at Bethany and cocked her head in confusion, "where's Marian anyways? How come she's not here yelling at me for allowing you to become 'endangered' on _my _watch and one of _my _Wardens?"

Bethany paled as the words hit home, silence replacing the laughter that had echoed only moments ago. She'd forgotten with everything that had happened that Marian was sick, hadn't woken up properly since that one night. "She's sick…on Isabela's ship…Merrill and I have been doing what we can, but this is beyond us." She gestured helpless as Elaine raised an eyebrow and tapped her foot pointedly. "How sick and sick from what…?"

"Lyrium poisoning, among other wounds…" Bethany whispers as the tears rush to her eyes, Isabela's arm wrapping around her shoulders in silent support. How could she have forgotten that Marian was dying because of her? Because she always sided with Bethany and magic, the weaker side…

"It'll be alright Bethany, Marian's too stubborn to die from a fight like this." Isabela squeezes her shoulder as Bethany tries to smile through watering eyes.

"Break camp! We leave now." Elaine shouts suddenly as her face turns cold and distant. She riffles through her pack as she pulls out several tombs and thrusts one into Bethany's hands. "Start reading the pages that are marked with red." She looks at Bethany with hard eyes, "it might sound impossible, but it's going to save your sister from dying."

* * *

><p>Hawke mumbles again as her brow furrows as though she's in pain, twisting slightly for a moment before Merrill's hand on her brow calms her seemingly. Calming words whispered in elven barely reach the sleeping woman, but for the moment she relaxes as the magic sweeps across her body again.<p>

Inside her fevered dream, Hawke's finally reached the doorway in her dreams but it is guarded by a cloaked woman that she can barely see in the dim light. She edges closer towards the figure and reaches for her sword but it's not there.

"The hell…?" Hawke swears and looks down at her clothes, "where is my armor and sword?" She hisses in anger and she clenches her fists. Sighing she looks again at the black trousers and white blouse she's wearing, knee high boots, and a black vest. "So not my style," Hawke snorts amusedly as she glances around again and starts towards the lady.

"You need not skulk in the shadows; I already know you are here." A serene voice interrupts the heavy silence as the cloaked lady watches the dark haired human curse again. She waits to see if the human listens to her and sighs briefly. "Please come out, Marian Hawke. I desire to talk to you."

"How do you know my name?" Hawke stepped out of the dark shadows, raising a hand to shield her eyes as she takes in the small lake where the cloaked lady now sits, but she can still not make out the features of her face, almost as though she is shrouded with magic.

The air hums softly and Hawke can recognize the feeling of magic that she's grown to know over the years. "Because I do, you are the daughter of Malcolm Hawke and Leandra Amell, elder sister of Bethany and Carver Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, warrior from Ostagar, and a very sick and tired woman."

"Shit." Hawke replies as she runs a hand through her hair in frustration, "what do _you _want from me?" She glances around as her agitation grows stronger, she can see nothing but darkness and the soft light coming from the pool of water besides the cloaked woman. "Is this supposed to be the Fade?" Hawke crossed her arms against her chest, "I may not be magi, but I'm not a stranger to the Fade and my last visit went well in _my _favor, not any demon."

A small smile graces the solemn face as she tries to see the features more clearly. "I do not want anything from you. I came to offer you peace, from your dreams and the torment of the physical world." Cold gray eyes stare back into fiery blue ones as the two dominant women battle for power.

"Nothing comes free, what is your price?" Hawke asks again as she frowns. There is something in the air, it feels familiar not magic but she can't quite place it, the longer she thinks on it the more relaxed she feels.

"My price is you give up your mortal existence and come live with me in the world beyond the veil. You need not fight or hunger again." A vision appears as a gloved hand traces some intricate gesture, "most of all Marian, you will not feel pain, your nightmares will be gone and you will be among your family again…no one will need you to protect them anymore…"

"I don't believe that for an instant." Marian's voice is quiet as she looks down at her hands; "there is no peace for me now or ever. I killed the Knight Commander of Kirkwall and was hailed as its Champion. Then I fled after the battle. Templars and Mages alike will be hunting me down." Shaking her head Marian runs a hand through her hair tiredly.

"Perhaps this might help, showing you a piece of the future that I have seen." A hand raises and suddenly visions are assaulting the tired woman in a seemingly never-ending barrage.

The visions seem so real that Marian could reach out and touch them, happy days of when she and her siblings were simple kids playing, nighttime sitting by the fireplace as her mother read stories to her. Fenris was smiling at her with the slightest smirk in his eyes as he kissed her hand, placing a ring on her finger.

A small bundle rests in her arms as Bethany tickles small feet and Fenris is standing beside her as several more children bounce around them. All her friends are there sitting around the table including her mabari dog snoring near the fire.

A tear crawled down Marian's face, peace was within reach and all she had to do was give up her mortal _painful tired _existence.

Somewhere she could hear an echo of pain, and felt a shudder shake the world around her. She paused for a moment before turning to look at the visions again. She felt conflicted yet strangely at peace… "I don't know." Marian replied slowly as the cloaked woman smiled, the trap was set and primed. Inwardly the woman laughed evilly, _it's only a matter of time, _she whispers to herself.

* * *

><p>Merrill reaches doggedly for the manna potion before a blurred hand lifts it to her lips and encourages her to drink it. Worried eyes greet hers as the prickling darkness fades and she starts to cry softly. "Hawke's in danger Aveline. There's something there, it's like a demon yet not. Something very powerful and old."<p>

She pauses and looks at Aveline with a fierce determination in her eyes, "I need you to keep Fenris out of here. I must be able to use all the magic at my disposal."

"Merrill, do you mean...?" Aveline asks her eyes widening as Merrill shakes her head. "If I don't…" Merrill paused for a minute and closed her eyes as the former guard captain's face changed from confusion to anger.

"Hawke will die, if I don't try this. I do not understand the nature of this curse, but she's dying. Blood magic will save her." She glanced over at the red haired woman, "I am going to do this, no matter what you say. Hate me if you want but it's the only way."

Aveline doesn't say anything for once, though both women both know her opinion of Merrill's blood magic. "Be careful, Merrill." She nods shortly and leaves the room, her hands shaking from supressed emotion. _Was it not enough you had to nearly kill yourself for Kirkwall? Marian, you should have listened to us when we told you to leave… _Tears crawled down her solemn face as Aveline stood for a minute, grieving for her friend, a sister she hadn't had. Shaking herself after what felt like an eternity she went down to the hold, where Fenris and Donnic were.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: OK so I'm working on finishing this up, a monumental writer's block has affected this and then with Mass Effect, it got put on hold. Hopefully I will have the next chapter up in a couple of days. I apologize for the dropping the ball on this. Soon Mass Effect will overtake Dragon Age but I'll be alternating between the two._**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Bethany kept reading and re-reading the pages that Elaine had marked with red ink at some point during her travels. She frowned as the magic unravelled before her and cringed at the descriptions as she read further and further. She glanced over at her tight lipped cousin, "this should be impossible…we can't do this."

Elaine glanced at Bethany, an unreadable look in her eyes, "I can do this if you can't, the spell will save-"

Bethany clamped a tight hand on Elaine's shoulder, "the spell will kill someone unwilling to die, this is worse than blood-magic, it makes it become your own. Marian wouldn't want this…my sister and I wouldn't do this!

Elaine shook her head tiredly as she shifted her son in her arms. "I have killed in cold blood, and I know for a fact that Marian has as well." She was silent for a minute before she looked over Bethany, "you don't know everything about Marian, leave it at that."

Bethany shook her head, "I don't believe you. I _won't _believe you, whatever happened to make you this cold?" She asked frustrated as she glared at her cousin, someone she realized with growing uncertainty that she didn't understand or trust fully.

"We'll be there soon. You had best get some sleep or read more of the spell." Elaine turns away from the brooding mage and flicks the reins again, urging the horses to go faster.

* * *

><p>Merrill stares about the murky fog around her as she treads softly deeper into the darkness that surrounds Marian's mind. It felt as though she had walked for ages when she finally saw Marian up ahead. "Oh Marian," Merrill gasped softly as she edged closer to her.<p>

Marian was sleeping against a flowing fountain where the light is shining brightly; a dark chain trailed from her wrist, her leg wrapped in what looked like a bandage made up of darkness. Merrill followed the chains with her eyes as she griped her staff tightly, recognition of the demon dawning.

The 'demon' looked up at her in surprise before she recovered and smiled softly. "Have you come to join us?" She asked sweetly as Merrill shook her head, her eyes narrowing in anger and fear.

"I know what you are; I will not deal with you." Mentally gathering her strength Merrill glared at the demon in front of her as she slammed her staff into the ground, unleashing a bright flare of brilliant shining light. "Release her and leave us!"

"Oh, I think not." The Demon smiled coldly as she watched the elf tremble with fury. "I like my new plaything; I do plan to keep her for some time…" She paused and smiled sickeningly at Merrill, "unless my dear, you'd like to make a deal?"

Merrill was silent as she stared back at the demon, all too aware of her arguments with Hawke years ago, that she'd never consort with a deal, never broker a deal again… the mirror had taught her the backlash was too great.

"You're not sure are you?" The demon smiled knowingly, "I understand that pressure you're going through." She watched as the elf took another breath, gripping her staff tightly. "We don't we just talk, little one?"

Merrill took another deep breath and sighed, her eyes still tightly shut. She _could _do this, there is _always _a way. You don't have to like it, but there's always a way to make it happen. She remembered Hawke telling her once during their very first fight about the mirror.

Her eyes opened as Merrill smiled coldly at the demon and flared as a green light shone around her. "There will be no deal, demon. I have my own way to deal with your threats."

* * *

><p>Elaine stalked through the harbour, her pace hurried and angry as she mulled over all the magic she'd learned since she'd left the Circle. There was little doubt in her mind that this was a Siren from the earlier and much darker ages of the world. Often drawn to raw corrupted lyrium they almost never left the Deep Roads although given the recent Kirkwall battle, and what few stories Isabella had told her, she was not all that surprised to see one now.<p>

"All that time around the Architect is leaving me jaded." Elaine tugged her ponytail scowling as she ignored everything in her path. She closed her eyes briefly for a minute. Looking down at Isaac, she smiled sadly as she stroke his cheek; "one day you'll grow up and there'll be nothing to harm you. Just a normal child." She scanned the crowd and frowned as she reached out to find Hector and smiled satisfied with his location. He was heading back now, hopefully he had gotten a prisoner from the city guard.

A sacrifice unwilling did not need to be someone of pure heart. Elaine mused as she continued to walk around the crates, her eyes narrow and grim. She stopped at one of the merchant's kiosks and purchased a plain dagger. Simple and sweet, just kill and wait for Hawke to be revived. Elaine couldn't fanthom how Marian would react. She wasn't sure if this bothered her or not. It simply had to be done. Much like before she was betrayed by her brother and sold out to the Circle of Magic.

* * *

><p><em>"Don't let go, we have to run faster!" Her hand is grasped tightly as her cousin pulls her up off the ground, her bright blue eyes wide with fear as she tugs at her hand again.<em>

"_I can't!" Elaine cries as she pants and Hawke shakes her head, "you have to, we need to!"_

_The Templars behind them are yelling as they come closer to the two children as Hawke glares at them and pulls Elaine into a run. Hawke trips flying over the edge of a ravine as Elaine closes follows pulled down by Hawke's panicked grip._

"_Shortcut…" Elaine gasps as she blinks and Hawke nods, a slight trickle of blood trailing down her face from a small cut. A shout and a shadow looms over them, Elaine raises her hand up with a scream and a second land the solider falls to the ground trapped in an unknown magical spell, Hawke stabs a small dagger through the eye slot in his helmet._

"_Daddy can help us…" Hawke mutters as she pushes onward, dragging her stunned cousin behind her. 'Survival at any cost… always protect those you love, no matter the cost.' Hawke chants the words over and over as she and Elaine run into the woods. The grizzled smith had always told her that when training. _

"_Stop!" The lead Templar calls out as they chase the children into the woods, slowly but steadily gaining on the young children._

_Four adults look up in shock at the shouts as the two children stumble out of the forest, clothing torn and bloodstained. A shout is all it takes for several arrows and a bolt of magic to kill the two Templars that emerge from the forest behind the children.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Elaine sighed softly as she ran her hand through her hair and tugging her ponytail lightly as Isabella and Bethany catch up to her. "I hate boats," she muttered darkly as she stepped onto the gangplank ignoring Isabella's protesting that it's a <em>ship,<em> _not_ a boat, and Bethany's cold look.


End file.
